Just enough to get by

Sending your kid into the jaws of secondary school is a daunting mission, doing it when your kids got a learning difficulty doubles it. I just got the first report home, as I spend more time on his homework than he does I knew what to expect, subjects that I bid good riddance to years ago have come unbidden once again to my kitchen table. Weekend mind mapping sessions and a printing budget to rival a government department have secured a handful of B’s and C’s, his obvious Visio spatial talents have shone with A’s in some subjects. But the unfortunately placed English grade at the top with its computer generated comment has me calling for ‘serenity now’.

There are many shortcomings in the use of technology in schools, I could write all day about it, but one of the few that most parents are accustomed to is the ‘comments’ section of report cards. A list of comments from ‘great student, tries hard’ to ‘shows lack of commitment to study’ allow teachers to input a number and generate a comment, in most schools there is no option for individualised comments. The comment the English teacher used for my sons work to date?

‘Does just enough to get by’

The picture above is called a Necker cube, it is oft used as an example of human perceptual ability, you see it either facing up or facing down, but no matter how hard you stare at it, you cannot see both states simultaneously. I use it to illustrate the problems we have in actually seeing things from more than one side, on first viewing you see it as it is, your perception shapes reality, when your told to do so you see another, and it is this mismatch between what you see and what you believe to be that brings me back to this comment. As we develop our perception of the world is shaped and coloured by our experiences, so for many of us who grew up reading with ease trying to see things through the eyes of a dyslexic or child with learning difficulties presents us with problems, we can sympathise but can we really empathise?

Empathy requires experience, and unfortunately there is a definite lack of experience of learning difficulties for those teaching, parenting and caring for our kids. Richard Lavoies’ fear, anxiety, and tension workshops in the states in the 1970’s became part of the curriculum for teachers right up to today. A former principal and teacher in a residential school for children with learning difficulties councils that all teachers must have an educational philosophy, and that a top down approach is crucial in schools when it comes to full equality. He is an avid proponent of the importance of teaching social skills to children with learning difficulties. He draws heavily from the work of Mel Levine, his book All kinds of Minds offers much for those hoping to draw from this well. What both of these men have shown through workshops and publications is that we cannot walk a mile in our kids shoes, unless we have first hand experience of staring at a page looking for answers when the script is Arabic and we don’t understand the question.

Just enough to get by can be twice and three times what the other child in the class does.

Just enough to get by is a thirteen year old child who fears more than anything that the kids in the class will find out he is different.

Just enough to get by is two and a half hours homework every night when others are doing twenty minutes.

Just enough to get by is praying through class that he dosent get called on.

Just enough to get by cries at home because his answers aren’t as good as the other kids.

Just enough to get by is not my son, parent teacher meeting next Monday...ding ding.