Sleeping too much is a no no when you’ve got the black dog approaching, or as it has been for the last week, gnawing on my leg. This mornings brief sojourn into REM before waking felt like an eternity. I was at home, some people called, offering house maintenance service, foot in door aggressive sell, I declined and returned to the couch. Another couple appeared from the kitchen, an elegant eastern European lady, very bond villain and a sleazy pimp type, ‘too late’ she said, it had started. My house was awash with cleaners. (this should not cause me too much distress as my house is ever increasingly in need of help) It was however terrifying, a peer through the window confirmed that there were troops up heaving the garden, planting and rotavating, the front wall was being fortified, Ivanahumpalot cackled at my distress. I eventually called the cops only to be told to calm down and stop freeting.
Now what the fuck was that all about?
I think it points out that I really own nothing, my house, electricity, food, internet, its all borrowed, all temporary, all liable to change or be gone. These 'people' are already in my house and theres nobody I can call to get them out, trapped in the land of hand to mouth we worry, constantly. We have cut corners where possible, no bin, no tv, no out, the car runs on green diesel most of the time. But after a week of feeding my dogs pasta because I cannot afford chow I’m starting to feel decidedly helpless in the face of mounting bills. I live simply, there are no treats, surprises or spur of the moment purchases.
I spend my days trying to find a job, FAS is frustrating, the weekly local papers have nothing and monster/jobs/loadza.ie are seemingly only looking for foreign language telesales people or biochemists, neither of which I am. Suggestions anyone? Posible dream analysis?
