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Monday, June 28, 2010

Fried Eggs and spilt milk

An interesting article takes centre stage in talk radio today as (mostly men) decry the deputy editor Kathryn Blundells' (of Mother and Baby magazine) stance on breastfeeding. She outlines her case, centering on wanting to keep her body taut and her breasts for entertainment, while I believe she wanted it to come across as sassy it bricked harder than SATC 2. I know she was attempting to reach women who felt guilt for bottle feeding but the thin line between independent woman and mother is a difficult path to tread. I recall Gordon Ramsey stating that he never changed a nappy in his life and being lauded but Madonnas admission of same of leading to horrified reactions. Whats good for the goose is not for the gander.

I was lucky enough to breastfeed, I nursed my son until he was nearly three, which raises eyebrows to this day. I was 20 when I had him, young enough to appreciate the A to D size increase and also young enough to want to keep feeding for fear of returning to the land of fried eggs. I also returned to a size 8 within 2 months and never,ever had a sleepless night, I was so connected I would wake seconds before him and latch on, for you see I also committed the sin of sharing the bed with him. Motivations differ for everyone, my main motivator has always been somebody telling me I couldn’t do something.

I had to stay with my parents after he was born, they were horrified by my decision, I was forbidden to feed in front of anybody in the family, at one stage I remember my father coming into the room and saying that he would pay for the food, whatever food I wanted to give him, just stop the stupidity. I had countless bouts of mastitis in the first month and my public health nurse came around and recommended I put the baby on a bottle as soon as possible as I was too young for this (all this ‘advice’ circa 1997). I had support coming out of my ears.

I was not lucky enough to plan and want a baby, but when I got him I made damn sure I gave him everything I could, he didn’t have a €900 buggy but he had me. I carried him and fed him for 9 months, why stop then?. While I’ve learnt a lot over the years on genetics and temperament and I know all too well the dangers of anecdotal evidence, I still attribute much of my little mans, kindness, sociability and empathy to being so close during those first years. People have always commented on him, so I guess there must be something in the nurture half. There are other benefits, the lack of bottles and sterilising, the weight loss and grab and go baby packing. I empathise with women who for whatever reason cannot feed, I remember feeding through nipples that looked like they had been sanded off and rubbed down with salt, the teething phase and I still tingle there when I hear a crying infant. Perhaps if my parents had been more supportive I would have given up. I’ve never really been any good at doing what they told me to do.

What really creeped me out about Kathryn Blundells’ article is her comment on the creepiness of looking down at a baby latched onto a nipple where previously there has only been a lover. Does she get sexually stimulated at a smear test?

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Feminists need to hulk out....

Somebody asked Lady Gaga if she was a feminist lately..she replied, 'No, I don't hate men'. Somewhere along the line being a feminist has lost its mojo and meaning, its like saying you vote for Fianna Fail...So a new generation of little girls can grow up knowing its whats on the outside that counts...again.
I have so far resisted open comment on Claire Tully,Ive attempted to admire her tenacity, her ability to spell, her shameless self promotion all features that have been made possible by the rise of feminism in Ireland. 40 years ago women had to cover their heads in church now Clare can get her kit off and still get work in mainstream media. Today's piece by her has finally irked me into action..after tolerating previous articles by this woman I feel a short rant coming on.

Clare Tully is one of the big draws on Joe.ie Ireland's first men's website, dedicated to manly, manly stuff like sports and cars and sports and women. Women who have tits, who like to get them out, and agree with them, and laugh at their jokes. Men, real men, men who shave and like men's stuff, because theres only one way to be a man...
Clare is employed to get her tits out and churn out sex advice, as of course being a woman with a degree from trinity in Immunology she is vastly experienced in and qualified to offer advice on sex...... I'm not going to draw a parallel there between being sexually promiscuous and being a soft porn model; I would not do that to another woman. Which brings me back to the point, having a degree in microbiology does not a psychologist make, undeterred, Claire notes another string in her bow; social commentary. Claire is a woman with opinions, and shes not afraid to buck stereotypes!..well so says her website! This usually ends in Claire succumbing to lads views, at one stage in this piece she mentions her balls shriveling up...if only she had them....

Today Claire (with the maverick, maverikness of Sarah Palin flowing full and free in her lions) bravely challenged women who cry rape! Oh, what daring, what bravado, giving a shout out loud and clear that Claire and her ilk have no time for lying and liars and the lies they tell!

Clare illustrates this point by quoting American statistics for false reports of rape, and as we all know, Ireland is closer to Boston than Berlin! So any more we can just quote American Statistics and use them to make Irish points, for instance
Did you know that 1/3 of Irish people do not believe in evolution, and 13% of us think the President is really the Antichrist, our population in Ireland can be of course be broken down into white 77.1%, black 12.9%, Asian 4.2%, Amerindian and Alaska native 1.5%, native Hawaiian and other Pacific islander 0.3%, other (The Hawaiian contingent being banished to Achill in the mid 90's)

So Claire, when you decide to side with the people who think most rapes are just a girl looking for attention or being vindictive you forfeit your right to be tolerated. American Statistics do not reflect Irish life and should not be used to illustrate your opinion as facts. Rape is happening every day in this country, and its not just women who are victims, by furthering the belief in lies you side with the community in Listowel who shook hands with Danny Foley after he was convicted of raping a young women. Or the Italian judge who ruled that it was impossible for a young woman to be raped wearing tight jeans.

Its why I despair of Joe.ie with its manly manly stance...I know lots of men who are sensitive, considerate, caring, fathers, parents, lovers... and not just some impulse lead morons that wont read anything without a pair of tits or an arse dangled before him. Grow up Joe and cop on Claire.