Another day another

Putting your bank card in the machine and asking for twenty euro is about as close to a religious experience as I can count on. When I attempted said leap of faith last night I was greeted by the 'Insufficient Funds' message, depressing, not least because it means my vastly over inflated overdraft facility which I increased and increased over the noughties is at bursting point.
Knowing I have to wait till Thursday when the sum of 250 will be swallowed whole by the spoilt brat that is my overdraft, all the time demanding further recompense, its insatiable appetite not met by my lack of wage.

Getting to sleep was hard, what do you tell yourself when your facing into your 35th year and you are still worrying about putting food on the table? I spent the sleepless time mentally cataloguing the meat in the freezer and wondering if we owned anything else that could be sold. A strict policy of momentary living and lack of forward planning seems to be the fundamental problem. But when you don't earn much how do you plan ahead.

In an effort to improve my situation I have returned to college, my years of conviction that a degree was not a prerequisite to employment have been tamed by the joy of working for and under people whose position I never envied nor wanted to emulate. But due to higher powers inactivity a clerical error lengthened my 3 years degree to 4, but whats another of year?

Another year is no mean feat, the mortgage still demands blood. Now if I can only travel the hour to and from college in my 13 year old car, raise a kid, feed everything that lives here for under 230 a week we will be fine. I have fruitlessly pimped myself at the doors and emails of voluntary organisations, pizzerias and cleaners to no avail. Apparently I am over qualified despite not being technically qualified for many posts. Although if I returned to being a barmaid now I would spend my time ushering folks home to their families or AA meetings. Perhaps it is not the position but a shift in focus that is required. I have through various jobs and positions realised that people who have money are in general better at holding onto it, and Im not even taking the Bono into account here.

There have been many such folk over the years, like the couple with the newly built 6 bed mansion who I spent 5 days painting a venetian scene onto their dining room wall who balked at a 200 euro price tag.( I have always under priced work, I'm a bad Capitalist) saying I didn't paint all the individual strings on the lyre in one of the characters hand.
Or the School principle who said I should come in and sit in the staff room unoccupied from 9-4 even if my charge was absent due to illness, I said my days off were valuable to me (I could sometimes get a days painting gig) he commiserated that he too valued his days off. ( He earned 5 times my wage and spent such days working on his handicap). It wasn't the attendance that bothered me, it was the aimlessness, the option of sitting anywhere and doing nothing is hardly an option.
Which brings me quiet sweetly back to my current predicament, its not the money its the aimlessness, the lack of function, a reason d'etre. I have much to offer, brains, commitment and quips, I have little regard for compensation (once again underpricing myself) a sandwich board perhaps is in order.