A drive through rural Ireland will unearth many an architectural gem. We have columns where columns were never meant to be, balconies that have only ever hosted a rotten iron patio chair and giant cast concrete eagles to overlook potholed driveways. What is the reason for these monstrosities? Can we blame the government? Well...frankly...yes.
The machinations of Biddy and Miley on Sunday night may have given you a few extra minutes before bed,but the highlight of the week was getting a look at Dallas. Hoping you would be let watch the whole lot, until somebody popped a collar button and put down a decanter and your mam would say ‘bed!’. In our house sex was something nobody did, ever, and certainly not on TV. None the less we grew up in love with the Americans, and anything they had to offer. Like many shows syndicated across the world Dallas and its ilk have found a place in our collective psyche, and also in our environment. Nobody asks how certain houses, built in the style of South Fork came to be, you might avert your gaze as you whizz past but nobody doubts how they came into existance. These 'one off' buildings were invariably built atop the habitat of the last mating pair of Unicorns, in a pristine and unspoilt area. These follies were OK’ed with more than a nod, they were lauded, held up as examples to the rest of us. THIS is how we roll, we have arrived, a few pints and a pat on the back to the local TD,' ah shur, good man, ill remember you on polling day...will you come round for the mass we’re having said to mark the first night in the new house?'. For everything is political at the end of the day, even ugly houses.
Looking through the synopsis for Dallas, Falcon Crest and Dynasty and correlating it with the average age of politicians in this country I’ve come up with a rather novel theory. We are being run by people who believe in drama ever after. The ebb and flow of the Irish political tide has indeed washed us closer the shores of the US; spiritually, economically & ideologically. In typical Irish fashion I shall judge a family by its boldest child and call Ivor Callelly out to defend this position.
Ivor grew up with J.R. a man that didn’t want money, he wanted more, more power, more perks, more spray tan. As Ivor relaxes in Sheeps head (not quiet the same ring to it as South Fork) he must be seeking comfort in the box set of Dallas. J.R. had these trials, these judgements, but he never backed down, thats just not Texan! Ivor is our Texan, one man standing brave, and tanned, in the face of uncertainty.Never back down, never say sorry, never admit you were wrong, its the Irish political way. Ivor has no doubt has taken comfort in his wives identification with Angela Channing, the matriarch of Falcon Crest who helped scheme and connive to stay on top. For Ivor does not need money, he does not need anything, he just wants power, and that is the key to 80’s soaps. All those Politicians who worked their way up through the constituencies watched this play out in the 80s. When manly men did JR impressions at Christmas parties and then went back to running Anglo after a liquid lunch, where a nod in the planning office secured that second set of Roman Columns to spice up the front, or made sure that Traveller halting site is nowhere near YOUR property.
When we have nothing of value to hold up as our own, then we are destined to continue to blindly follow that which has been prescribed by another society. The Arts has never abandoned Ireland but it will feel the brunt of cuts in the coming years, when all we are left with is FairCity as a reflection of Irish life then we really are in the proverbial. Id like a change please, a fresh start, enough looking to the past and over the water. It would seem as if a grand Falcon Crest type gesture is in order, like burning it down and starting afresh....
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