New Families

For the last week we have been beaten with the two parents good: 1 parent bad rhetoric once again, albeit this time its not the lovely Ed Wlashe (who is trotted out to talk on single parents at every opportunity) but the catholic undertow that have been up in arms over gay parenting. The civil partnership bill is a welcome addition to the rights of couples who cannot yet marry. I look forward to full equality being afforded to them, for somethings cannot be changed by simply waiting for society to catch up. If we had waited for people to stop smoking voluntarily we would still be eating our meals in smoky restaurants. Legislation can and does change society.

I cannot ignore the constant rhetoric that children do better in two parent families, its not just an attack on gay fmailies its an attack on mine also. My sons father died when he was a year and a half old, for years I would tear up when watching men play with their children, it was strange how it could hit you out of the blue, an advert, a passing car, a story book, all reminders of what you were not providing. I was strong enough to see that most of the time I was providing more than two parents could, we talked, we shared sleep, we worked together,because there was no-one else, just me and him. I learnt that it was love and not gender that defines your relationship with a child. He has my brother and father and my friends as male influences, people who loved him and valued him. Everything a married couple have I have, or have given him, he has wanted for nothing.

He has learnt that women are strong and capable, that we will use drills and rewire lights, that we change wheels and oil and build walls because there is no one that will do it for you. Single parents are forced to reevaluate gendered roles on a daily basis, we are mam AND dad.So when David Quinn makes statements to lessen my family structure as not in the best interests of the child I question his thinly veiled bigotry. My child deserves the best and he got it.