sweet dreams

Sleeping too much is a no no when you’ve got the black dog approaching, or as it has been for the last week, gnawing on my leg. This mornings brief sojourn into REM before waking felt like an eternity. I was at home, some people called, offering house maintenance service, foot in door aggressive sell, I declined and returned to the couch. Another couple appeared from the kitchen, an elegant eastern European lady, very bond villain and a sleazy pimp type, ‘too late’ she said, it had started. My house was awash with cleaners. (this should not cause me too much distress as my house is ever increasingly in need of help) It was however terrifying, a peer through the window confirmed that there were troops up heaving the garden, planting and rotavating, the front wall was being fortified, Ivanahumpalot cackled at my distress. I eventually called the cops only to be told to calm down and stop freeting.

Now what the fuck was that all about?

I think it points out that I really own nothing, my house, electricity, food, internet, its all borrowed, all temporary, all liable to change or be gone. These 'people' are already in my house and theres nobody I can call to get them out, trapped in the land of hand to mouth we worry, constantly. We have cut corners where possible, no bin, no tv, no out, the car runs on green diesel most of the time. But after a week of feeding my dogs pasta because I cannot afford chow I’m starting to feel decidedly helpless in the face of mounting bills. I live simply, there are no treats, surprises or spur of the moment purchases.

I spend my days trying to find a job, FAS is frustrating, the weekly local papers have nothing and monster/jobs/loadza.ie are seemingly only looking for foreign language telesales people or biochemists, neither of which I am. Suggestions anyone? Posible dream analysis?

Criminals?

My next door neighbours are pop-u-lar

SO popular that cars often block my driveway, normally this is a cue for me to suddenly need something urgently at the shop and I dive into my rider and start revving loudly.
I now see that behaviour as being childish and down right un-neighbourly. Yes the anti christ is quelled, amazing what a visit from special branch will do for your neighbourhood capital.
Over the Easter holidays my neighbours were discovered to be hiding guns you see, and that puts a whole new spin on neighbour hood watch. As the closest house I am ushered for chats with residents over cigarettes and garden walls, the current spate of good weather doing much to loose tongues and theories.
Names of various traveller clans have been bandied around, the hypothesis that they were part of the urban cleansing of Moyross and have come to rent in our quiet cul de sac and other theories relating to the frequencies of visitors come to play.
' I pity you down next to them' is the usual refrain, but frankly my dear, I couldn't give a damn.
If my neighbours are involved in shady dealings, so be it, I could be living next to Seanie Fitzpatrick and feel less safe. They have never made a nuisance of themselves or been antisocial in any way that I can see or hear, if fact its quiet funny listening to the banter from the constant visitors. When they cleared the kids from playing football out the front it wasn't with a sharp tongue like a former tenant of the house who called them horrible names when the ball ended up in her flowers. She was from Kilmaley....
So yeah, my neighbours may be making money from nefarious means, so are half the country, who am I to judge, Ive avoided tax when I could and while I never had a gun, I have shot one on occasion, and got to say its highly addictive. I went from peace loving gun hater to Schwartzenegger in two minutes flat, paint ball and quazar are killing fields. My son was concerned when we told him, he's a worrier, I reassured him that any sort of thug ife is usually confined to thugs life, and reminded him that these people have been living here for a few months now and we have no reason to fear them as they have done nothing to us. There are worse people with neck ties.

Fightclub

Today we start to find out the true scale of the shit we are in, Anglo the golden albatross reveals its true legacy making sure our kids pay for the dealings and wheelings of Irelands landed gentry. This from a bank that paid former chief executive David Drumm a deferred bonus payment of €659,000 on December 12th 2008, only a week before details of loans taken out by the bank’s former chairman Sean FitzPatrick came to light.

I suggest a new approach..perhaps its the hankering for Democracy, of which we have little, or the desperate need for a hero in these dark times, but we need blood. Arresting Seanie for a session with fraud officers will no longer do. 12.7 BILLION....12.7...12....
I think its easy get confused when we talk in notation, about a cool billion or two. In modern English a billion means 1,000,000,000 - a thousand million. I think that's how the media should be framing this

€ 12,700, 000,000 ; LOSS

That number scares the shit outta me...how bout you?

So I think we need to make it worth that, if all you get for winning the X factor is a record deal and a million for a few weeks worth of public judgement. The the leading figures of Irish banking should give us our pound of flesh, give us a spectacle, give us BLOOD

The newly built Landsdown road would be a suitable Dublin venue but at the risk of this turning into a 'for profit' venture I suggest the car parks of numerous empty shopping centres, business parks and Lidls throughout the country.

MMA style cage fights, the cages are for the protection of the 'talent' as we don't want the crowd ripping them to shreds before we have had our entertainment. Local bankers (and possibly estate agents, solicitors and property developers) will fight it out, barenuckle style, no holds barred, groin shots allowed, until there emerges a champion we can get behind, the man with the most teeth left on the bloodied carpark will live to fight another day, the looser will be thrown to the crowd or used to placate the pro hunting lobby by using them to blood hounds.

Give the mob blood....give them spectacle....the fucking eurovision isint going to cut it this year.

Why KickAss kicks ass

Q: Who are the voiceless in modern society?
A: Kids
....and I can add teenagers to that unhappy lot, I remember the old addage that the government dosent give a shit about them because they cant vote.

The Daily Mail leads the brigade of brow beaters lamenting the demise of morality with the awarding of a 16's certificate to KickAss, apparently it gives the wrong example to teenagers. This from a paper happy to carry daily diatribes on the Katie Price circus.

Ill tell you why Id be happy if my teen was watching this, this film makes mincemeat of the last ten years of big budget superhero propaganda, that always left the audience impressed but no nearer feeling better about themselves. Kickass slaps them about the face, with an open palm....

This film succeeds on a number of levels, it has heart, the big blue eyes and awkward advances of Aaron Johnson are known to most if not all of us, that longing we all have to make things better, but our flawed selves rarely do. Any of us that have stepped up and stepped in know the heady rush and the blind panic that can engulf when you become the target of aggression. Unlike the self loathing skulking and moody teen angst that pollute films now (sparkly vampires and moody Bronte readers) Johnson is human, is hopefull and despite knockbacks is actually interested in something other than himself.

As with all heroes we will him on, but this film shows none of the stock changes that usually accompany hero's in the making stories, he will never make it to the top of the steps with Rocky, but neither will we...remember those New Years resolutions...how're they lookin now?

Hit girl on the other hand is a Tarantinoesque 11 year old death in pigtails...I'm sure there are conservatives frothing at the mouth over her stabbing, slashing and slicing antics. It is for those very reasons she is a triumph, a kid that kicks ass, an 11 year old heroine that wants a glock not a puppy for her birthday. I was reminded of the stellar hallway battle in Oldboy watching this little mini mamba get all ultravoilent in the penultimate battle. When KickAss turns up to help her I felt like jumping to my feet and applauding, I haven't felt that way since Ralph Macchio kicked ass at the end of the Karate Kid (OK so I was like 8, but that's how I felt!)

A film that can reach out and drag you in, without having to beat you over the head with the good guy versus bad guy nonsense, we are all both, we're capable of great things, but too often we sit back and let things happen, the only thing it takes for evil to triumph is for a good man to do nothing. This is the best two hours Ive paid for in years, a film that every big studio refused to make, and in brilliant little red hen style they made it themselves, I can only hope more films get made without the dirty fingers of studio executives meddling.

Civil Partnership... in a civil society

I don't buy the indo, far too fearful of coming out the other end of it hating the civil service, but had a chance to cast a critical eye (if fact its the only eye I have) over it yesterday.
After reading David Quinns piece on the 'price' we will have to pay if we allow same sex unions I had to recheck to see if somebody had inserted a copy of the catholic voice between the covers...
I fall in and out of love with the idea of marriage, in one way we are relentlessly pressured into it by society and succumb to the charms (especially as women) of a dress that everyone will love and an excuse for a party before we are past the party stage of life.
Then I put my sensible hat on and realise I'm with him because I want to be with him, not because I want a ring (not least because the ones I want cost more than our yearly spend), or a day out as people like to term it, a day out so steeped in manic spending I wonder how anyone affords it. A cursory glance through the for sale ads in Done Deal will reassure me that girls are still spending more than they can afford on dresses but still cannot like this fine example -spell....
So if two guys want to do it, or two girls, I fail to see how it cheapens the 'sanctity' of any one elses.
Lets look at what Marriage started out as... In 1600, marriage for almost all Europeans and Europeans in America was primarily an economic arrangement negotiated between families in which family considerations of status, future economic stability, and prosperity were the most important considerations in selecting a potential spouse. As Stephanie Coontz reveals in her new book, Marriage, A History: From Obedience to Intimacy, or How Love Conquered Marriage, human unions have gone through a number of evolutions. We would be remiss to think that it was ever a stable institution. Instead, it has always been in flux. It has only been based on the concept of love for 200 years; before that, it was a way of ensuring economic and political stability. Wow, what a sanctified institution!

Lets also note that marriage is not sought by same sex couples in all countries, it depends to an extent on the notion of 'legitimacy' in a society, indeed its what I occasionally lapse into when I think that I or my relationship would be better for having a ring and a day out. Its about norms, and the norm in Ireland to declare 'commitment' is a wedding, whatever your religious affiliation. Quinn's piece for the indo is just declaring what many people fear, that somehow if you loosen norms the world as you know it will come crashing down around your ears.
This fear of movement from traditionalism and indeed the secularisation of society is worrying in a number of ways.
1:We are a nation in crisis, calls for a return to the days of yore has never produced solutions and only perpetrates a vicious cycle of repeated failures.
2: We are a changing nation, demographically and spiritually, our legislation should reflect inclusion not exclusion.
3: Our past is not a happy place that we should return to, immigration, oppression and poverty are never ideals, our ability to distance ourselves from past failures and over exaggerate good memories is a well documented psychological phenomenon.

Recession busting

Last Friday my partner was summoned to work for a meeting, this was the second phone call of the day, the earlier call offered him extra hours next week, something we can always do with.
He called me, blabbering about letting me..... letting us down, that he was sorry.....
In a week of politicans resigning posts, do you think any of them called home and said I dont know how we are going to keep a roof over our heads, how we will heat or feed our family, which one of the animals should we try to rehome first?
Hughes and Hughes went into recievership, L dosent qualify for any SW as he is a full time student, that leaves me with 250 a week to support two of us in college, a teenager, pets, mortgage, car and loans.
Im afraid to do the maths....
I have implemented some plans, I bought my first container full of green diesel and will be running the car on that from now on, we will be cutting out all red meat, the dogs are down to boiled scraps, I will be scanning and photoshopping a tax disk for the fucking car and tonight when the strip light in the kitchen started smoking and the smell of smoldering electrical wire got too much I had no choice but to take the thing down and dump it, we can only cook in the daylight from now on.

I thought Id steal from his blog and paste it here, while we try to find other routes, I think its the best thing he has written to date

So last friday another 500 jobs in the retail sector were either gone or under threat. A familiar story and nothing more than another example of our economy that has been run into the ground and good material for the working journalist.

Just one problem this time because one of those 500 unlucky people was me.

I found myself in the uncomfortable position last Friday of being the story as Hughes and Hughes Booksellers went into receivership at 5pm. No warning was given to any of the employees before a representative of the accountancy firm Deloitte walked in and ordered that all trading must cease and the shop closed.

I found out via a phone call from my boss who in a shellshocked voice simply said: "it's over." Not all of us were so lucky as they found out their jobs were gone through the dispassionate voices of Today FM and RTE News.

I bolted into town to attend a staff meeting where we were told that the game was up and that we should expect to be on the dole queue by Monday. The softly spoken accountant was dispassionate too , just doing his job and as I sat there only half hearing him i became suddenly aware of the void that exists between the journalist and the events that he or she records.

500 people loose their jobs, 6 people die in a car accident, 3 homes are repossessed, all these things are real and having huge impact on real people but often if you are writing a story this impact is lost because its just words on the page, its just numbers as no reporter is in the car as it leaves the road or the courtroom where someone looses their home or when a person you have never met before turns up and says your job is history.

While working on the production of the Moyross Voice, the pull of a good story was irresistible and I remember the excitement I felt when I heard in an interview that regeneration was in trouble. Here was a good story and not only would it make the paper, it would make the front page.In that excitement I became disconnected from the reality that if regeneration was indeed in trouble then a lot of people would be let down and in a very real sense betrayed by the government that long ago should have shared the wealth.At the time I'm sorry to say all I felt was happy, I had my story and it was a good one.

I felt sick yesterday as I read the reports, each one reminding me that I can't pay my bills next week and I think despite my financial woes I have gained something and thats empathy. Reporting the news is a vital function of the journalist but I suspect that to the best kind of journalist you should never loose your empathy for the people whose lives are being affected.

Empathy does not mean you write your story with a softer tone, but maybe the next time you interview your local TD, you will remember those people and ask the hard questions that they might not get an opportunity to ask or follow up your straight news story with a human interest piece that highlights the impact of the events you have reported.

Thats my two cents, I'm off to wipe the NAMA shaped smile off my bank managers face when I show him my P45. Should be fun.

Stephen Fry considers the position of the catholic church

Stephen Fry rips shreds from the flagging shambling corpse that is the Catholic Church

Ann Widdecombes' face is hilarious, and not one of Fry's points fails to hit hard