Fried Eggs and spilt milk

An interesting article takes centre stage in talk radio today as (mostly men) decry the deputy editor Kathryn Blundells' (of Mother and Baby magazine) stance on breastfeeding. She outlines her case, centering on wanting to keep her body taut and her breasts for entertainment, while I believe she wanted it to come across as sassy it bricked harder than SATC 2. I know she was attempting to reach women who felt guilt for bottle feeding but the thin line between independent woman and mother is a difficult path to tread. I recall Gordon Ramsey stating that he never changed a nappy in his life and being lauded but Madonnas admission of same of leading to horrified reactions. Whats good for the goose is not for the gander.

I was lucky enough to breastfeed, I nursed my son until he was nearly three, which raises eyebrows to this day. I was 20 when I had him, young enough to appreciate the A to D size increase and also young enough to want to keep feeding for fear of returning to the land of fried eggs. I also returned to a size 8 within 2 months and never,ever had a sleepless night, I was so connected I would wake seconds before him and latch on, for you see I also committed the sin of sharing the bed with him. Motivations differ for everyone, my main motivator has always been somebody telling me I couldn’t do something.

I had to stay with my parents after he was born, they were horrified by my decision, I was forbidden to feed in front of anybody in the family, at one stage I remember my father coming into the room and saying that he would pay for the food, whatever food I wanted to give him, just stop the stupidity. I had countless bouts of mastitis in the first month and my public health nurse came around and recommended I put the baby on a bottle as soon as possible as I was too young for this (all this ‘advice’ circa 1997). I had support coming out of my ears.

I was not lucky enough to plan and want a baby, but when I got him I made damn sure I gave him everything I could, he didn’t have a €900 buggy but he had me. I carried him and fed him for 9 months, why stop then?. While I’ve learnt a lot over the years on genetics and temperament and I know all too well the dangers of anecdotal evidence, I still attribute much of my little mans, kindness, sociability and empathy to being so close during those first years. People have always commented on him, so I guess there must be something in the nurture half. There are other benefits, the lack of bottles and sterilising, the weight loss and grab and go baby packing. I empathise with women who for whatever reason cannot feed, I remember feeding through nipples that looked like they had been sanded off and rubbed down with salt, the teething phase and I still tingle there when I hear a crying infant. Perhaps if my parents had been more supportive I would have given up. I’ve never really been any good at doing what they told me to do.

What really creeped me out about Kathryn Blundells’ article is her comment on the creepiness of looking down at a baby latched onto a nipple where previously there has only been a lover. Does she get sexually stimulated at a smear test?

Feminists need to hulk out....

Somebody asked Lady Gaga if she was a feminist lately..she replied, 'No, I don't hate men'. Somewhere along the line being a feminist has lost its mojo and meaning, its like saying you vote for Fianna Fail...So a new generation of little girls can grow up knowing its whats on the outside that counts...again.
I have so far resisted open comment on Claire Tully,Ive attempted to admire her tenacity, her ability to spell, her shameless self promotion all features that have been made possible by the rise of feminism in Ireland. 40 years ago women had to cover their heads in church now Clare can get her kit off and still get work in mainstream media. Today's piece by her has finally irked me into action..after tolerating previous articles by this woman I feel a short rant coming on.

Clare Tully is one of the big draws on Joe.ie Ireland's first men's website, dedicated to manly, manly stuff like sports and cars and sports and women. Women who have tits, who like to get them out, and agree with them, and laugh at their jokes. Men, real men, men who shave and like men's stuff, because theres only one way to be a man...
Clare is employed to get her tits out and churn out sex advice, as of course being a woman with a degree from trinity in Immunology she is vastly experienced in and qualified to offer advice on sex...... I'm not going to draw a parallel there between being sexually promiscuous and being a soft porn model; I would not do that to another woman. Which brings me back to the point, having a degree in microbiology does not a psychologist make, undeterred, Claire notes another string in her bow; social commentary. Claire is a woman with opinions, and shes not afraid to buck stereotypes!..well so says her website! This usually ends in Claire succumbing to lads views, at one stage in this piece she mentions her balls shriveling up...if only she had them....

Today Claire (with the maverick, maverikness of Sarah Palin flowing full and free in her lions) bravely challenged women who cry rape! Oh, what daring, what bravado, giving a shout out loud and clear that Claire and her ilk have no time for lying and liars and the lies they tell!

Clare illustrates this point by quoting American statistics for false reports of rape, and as we all know, Ireland is closer to Boston than Berlin! So any more we can just quote American Statistics and use them to make Irish points, for instance
Did you know that 1/3 of Irish people do not believe in evolution, and 13% of us think the President is really the Antichrist, our population in Ireland can be of course be broken down into white 77.1%, black 12.9%, Asian 4.2%, Amerindian and Alaska native 1.5%, native Hawaiian and other Pacific islander 0.3%, other (The Hawaiian contingent being banished to Achill in the mid 90's)

So Claire, when you decide to side with the people who think most rapes are just a girl looking for attention or being vindictive you forfeit your right to be tolerated. American Statistics do not reflect Irish life and should not be used to illustrate your opinion as facts. Rape is happening every day in this country, and its not just women who are victims, by furthering the belief in lies you side with the community in Listowel who shook hands with Danny Foley after he was convicted of raping a young women. Or the Italian judge who ruled that it was impossible for a young woman to be raped wearing tight jeans.

Its why I despair of Joe.ie with its manly manly stance...I know lots of men who are sensitive, considerate, caring, fathers, parents, lovers... and not just some impulse lead morons that wont read anything without a pair of tits or an arse dangled before him. Grow up Joe and cop on Claire.

sweet dreams

Sleeping too much is a no no when you’ve got the black dog approaching, or as it has been for the last week, gnawing on my leg. This mornings brief sojourn into REM before waking felt like an eternity. I was at home, some people called, offering house maintenance service, foot in door aggressive sell, I declined and returned to the couch. Another couple appeared from the kitchen, an elegant eastern European lady, very bond villain and a sleazy pimp type, ‘too late’ she said, it had started. My house was awash with cleaners. (this should not cause me too much distress as my house is ever increasingly in need of help) It was however terrifying, a peer through the window confirmed that there were troops up heaving the garden, planting and rotavating, the front wall was being fortified, Ivanahumpalot cackled at my distress. I eventually called the cops only to be told to calm down and stop freeting.

Now what the fuck was that all about?

I think it points out that I really own nothing, my house, electricity, food, internet, its all borrowed, all temporary, all liable to change or be gone. These 'people' are already in my house and theres nobody I can call to get them out, trapped in the land of hand to mouth we worry, constantly. We have cut corners where possible, no bin, no tv, no out, the car runs on green diesel most of the time. But after a week of feeding my dogs pasta because I cannot afford chow I’m starting to feel decidedly helpless in the face of mounting bills. I live simply, there are no treats, surprises or spur of the moment purchases.

I spend my days trying to find a job, FAS is frustrating, the weekly local papers have nothing and monster/jobs/loadza.ie are seemingly only looking for foreign language telesales people or biochemists, neither of which I am. Suggestions anyone? Posible dream analysis?

Criminals?

My next door neighbours are pop-u-lar

SO popular that cars often block my driveway, normally this is a cue for me to suddenly need something urgently at the shop and I dive into my rider and start revving loudly.
I now see that behaviour as being childish and down right un-neighbourly. Yes the anti christ is quelled, amazing what a visit from special branch will do for your neighbourhood capital.
Over the Easter holidays my neighbours were discovered to be hiding guns you see, and that puts a whole new spin on neighbour hood watch. As the closest house I am ushered for chats with residents over cigarettes and garden walls, the current spate of good weather doing much to loose tongues and theories.
Names of various traveller clans have been bandied around, the hypothesis that they were part of the urban cleansing of Moyross and have come to rent in our quiet cul de sac and other theories relating to the frequencies of visitors come to play.
' I pity you down next to them' is the usual refrain, but frankly my dear, I couldn't give a damn.
If my neighbours are involved in shady dealings, so be it, I could be living next to Seanie Fitzpatrick and feel less safe. They have never made a nuisance of themselves or been antisocial in any way that I can see or hear, if fact its quiet funny listening to the banter from the constant visitors. When they cleared the kids from playing football out the front it wasn't with a sharp tongue like a former tenant of the house who called them horrible names when the ball ended up in her flowers. She was from Kilmaley....
So yeah, my neighbours may be making money from nefarious means, so are half the country, who am I to judge, Ive avoided tax when I could and while I never had a gun, I have shot one on occasion, and got to say its highly addictive. I went from peace loving gun hater to Schwartzenegger in two minutes flat, paint ball and quazar are killing fields. My son was concerned when we told him, he's a worrier, I reassured him that any sort of thug ife is usually confined to thugs life, and reminded him that these people have been living here for a few months now and we have no reason to fear them as they have done nothing to us. There are worse people with neck ties.

Fightclub

Today we start to find out the true scale of the shit we are in, Anglo the golden albatross reveals its true legacy making sure our kids pay for the dealings and wheelings of Irelands landed gentry. This from a bank that paid former chief executive David Drumm a deferred bonus payment of €659,000 on December 12th 2008, only a week before details of loans taken out by the bank’s former chairman Sean FitzPatrick came to light.

I suggest a new approach..perhaps its the hankering for Democracy, of which we have little, or the desperate need for a hero in these dark times, but we need blood. Arresting Seanie for a session with fraud officers will no longer do. 12.7 BILLION....12.7...12....
I think its easy get confused when we talk in notation, about a cool billion or two. In modern English a billion means 1,000,000,000 - a thousand million. I think that's how the media should be framing this

€ 12,700, 000,000 ; LOSS

That number scares the shit outta me...how bout you?

So I think we need to make it worth that, if all you get for winning the X factor is a record deal and a million for a few weeks worth of public judgement. The the leading figures of Irish banking should give us our pound of flesh, give us a spectacle, give us BLOOD

The newly built Landsdown road would be a suitable Dublin venue but at the risk of this turning into a 'for profit' venture I suggest the car parks of numerous empty shopping centres, business parks and Lidls throughout the country.

MMA style cage fights, the cages are for the protection of the 'talent' as we don't want the crowd ripping them to shreds before we have had our entertainment. Local bankers (and possibly estate agents, solicitors and property developers) will fight it out, barenuckle style, no holds barred, groin shots allowed, until there emerges a champion we can get behind, the man with the most teeth left on the bloodied carpark will live to fight another day, the looser will be thrown to the crowd or used to placate the pro hunting lobby by using them to blood hounds.

Give the mob blood....give them spectacle....the fucking eurovision isint going to cut it this year.

Why KickAss kicks ass

Q: Who are the voiceless in modern society?
A: Kids
....and I can add teenagers to that unhappy lot, I remember the old addage that the government dosent give a shit about them because they cant vote.

The Daily Mail leads the brigade of brow beaters lamenting the demise of morality with the awarding of a 16's certificate to KickAss, apparently it gives the wrong example to teenagers. This from a paper happy to carry daily diatribes on the Katie Price circus.

Ill tell you why Id be happy if my teen was watching this, this film makes mincemeat of the last ten years of big budget superhero propaganda, that always left the audience impressed but no nearer feeling better about themselves. Kickass slaps them about the face, with an open palm....

This film succeeds on a number of levels, it has heart, the big blue eyes and awkward advances of Aaron Johnson are known to most if not all of us, that longing we all have to make things better, but our flawed selves rarely do. Any of us that have stepped up and stepped in know the heady rush and the blind panic that can engulf when you become the target of aggression. Unlike the self loathing skulking and moody teen angst that pollute films now (sparkly vampires and moody Bronte readers) Johnson is human, is hopefull and despite knockbacks is actually interested in something other than himself.

As with all heroes we will him on, but this film shows none of the stock changes that usually accompany hero's in the making stories, he will never make it to the top of the steps with Rocky, but neither will we...remember those New Years resolutions...how're they lookin now?

Hit girl on the other hand is a Tarantinoesque 11 year old death in pigtails...I'm sure there are conservatives frothing at the mouth over her stabbing, slashing and slicing antics. It is for those very reasons she is a triumph, a kid that kicks ass, an 11 year old heroine that wants a glock not a puppy for her birthday. I was reminded of the stellar hallway battle in Oldboy watching this little mini mamba get all ultravoilent in the penultimate battle. When KickAss turns up to help her I felt like jumping to my feet and applauding, I haven't felt that way since Ralph Macchio kicked ass at the end of the Karate Kid (OK so I was like 8, but that's how I felt!)

A film that can reach out and drag you in, without having to beat you over the head with the good guy versus bad guy nonsense, we are all both, we're capable of great things, but too often we sit back and let things happen, the only thing it takes for evil to triumph is for a good man to do nothing. This is the best two hours Ive paid for in years, a film that every big studio refused to make, and in brilliant little red hen style they made it themselves, I can only hope more films get made without the dirty fingers of studio executives meddling.

Civil Partnership... in a civil society

I don't buy the indo, far too fearful of coming out the other end of it hating the civil service, but had a chance to cast a critical eye (if fact its the only eye I have) over it yesterday.
After reading David Quinns piece on the 'price' we will have to pay if we allow same sex unions I had to recheck to see if somebody had inserted a copy of the catholic voice between the covers...
I fall in and out of love with the idea of marriage, in one way we are relentlessly pressured into it by society and succumb to the charms (especially as women) of a dress that everyone will love and an excuse for a party before we are past the party stage of life.
Then I put my sensible hat on and realise I'm with him because I want to be with him, not because I want a ring (not least because the ones I want cost more than our yearly spend), or a day out as people like to term it, a day out so steeped in manic spending I wonder how anyone affords it. A cursory glance through the for sale ads in Done Deal will reassure me that girls are still spending more than they can afford on dresses but still cannot like this fine example -spell....
So if two guys want to do it, or two girls, I fail to see how it cheapens the 'sanctity' of any one elses.
Lets look at what Marriage started out as... In 1600, marriage for almost all Europeans and Europeans in America was primarily an economic arrangement negotiated between families in which family considerations of status, future economic stability, and prosperity were the most important considerations in selecting a potential spouse. As Stephanie Coontz reveals in her new book, Marriage, A History: From Obedience to Intimacy, or How Love Conquered Marriage, human unions have gone through a number of evolutions. We would be remiss to think that it was ever a stable institution. Instead, it has always been in flux. It has only been based on the concept of love for 200 years; before that, it was a way of ensuring economic and political stability. Wow, what a sanctified institution!

Lets also note that marriage is not sought by same sex couples in all countries, it depends to an extent on the notion of 'legitimacy' in a society, indeed its what I occasionally lapse into when I think that I or my relationship would be better for having a ring and a day out. Its about norms, and the norm in Ireland to declare 'commitment' is a wedding, whatever your religious affiliation. Quinn's piece for the indo is just declaring what many people fear, that somehow if you loosen norms the world as you know it will come crashing down around your ears.
This fear of movement from traditionalism and indeed the secularisation of society is worrying in a number of ways.
1:We are a nation in crisis, calls for a return to the days of yore has never produced solutions and only perpetrates a vicious cycle of repeated failures.
2: We are a changing nation, demographically and spiritually, our legislation should reflect inclusion not exclusion.
3: Our past is not a happy place that we should return to, immigration, oppression and poverty are never ideals, our ability to distance ourselves from past failures and over exaggerate good memories is a well documented psychological phenomenon.